Week 18: Nothing worked out

This week I had a plan for my self portrait, it might have been executed a week late, but it was a plan nonetheless. The title might have spoiled it, but it did not work out. My plan was to go full red in a way, I wore a red top and a white background. I set up the lighting to emphasis my red hair, but it just did not work out. I tried 3 different outfits before I finally got rid of the original set up and just sat down on the couch and did a ton of different poses. On my Instagram, you can find a little behind the scenes reel.

Week 19: Mental health awareness month

May is mental health awareness month in the USA. I found out about this from IDONTMIND. An organization which focuses on breaking the stigma around mental illnesses. The name of the organization meaning that I don’t mind talking about my mental health. Even though I have never been diagnosed with mental illnesses, I have struggled with mental health ever since my mom died almost seven years ago. I found that talking about it really helps and when I found out about the organization (founded by an actor from Supergirl) I wanted to help. Even though they focus on the States, it felt good to buy items from them which donates money ot Mental Health America.

Okay, enough about that, lets talk about the self portraits I took. I wore my new favorite shirt from IDONTMIND. The meaning I wanted to convey in these photos is that everyone has their bad days. The fact that I am often late with my self portraits is not just due to a lack of inspiration, but also because I have bad days and these self portraits aren’t really a priority for me. I can catch up later. The other two photos are to show that most things will work out and that we are stronger than we might think.

I want to show the real me online and even though sharing the lows is not something I am really comfortable with yet, it is important that you know that everyone has those.

Okay now really enough of the real talk. This week I also took the time with my boyfriend to take some couple self portraits together. This was the first time I took self portraits outdoor and it felt really awkward… I was very glad that we were together in finding it awkward, that made it way better. Below you can find the best photos from the shoot.

Week 20: Inspiration is running dry

Okay the weather this year is shit. Just absolutely shit. So all of my self portraits have been inside. I have gotten the confidence by now (including the couple self portrait session last week) to go outside, but the weather has to be better. There is however one idea that I still wanted to do inside. And that is to make use of the sun coming in through the windows to create interesting shadows on my face. Which is basically what I did, I sat in the windowsill and used the sun slightly peeking in to try this idea. And surprisingly, it worked pretty well πŸ™‚ I say surprisingly because lately my ideas haven’t really worked out, but this one did πŸ™‚

Week 21: I tried everything

This portrait was the hardest one yet. It took a long time to get to something I actually liked. I did a whole bunch of sessions but nothing really worked out. In the end I set the goal to pose using my arms. I did not really do that, and it felt very weird and looked weird as well. At some point, I got the hang of it and got some photos I am happy with. You can see the best one below.

The thing I learned is to keep trying, if it doesn’t work out now it might still work out later. A second thing I realized is that even though you can be good at something, there are still aspects you can learn about. For example, I feel pretty confident about taking photos in general, but not with posing. That is why I started this project and I improved quickly, especially in the face only self portraits. At some point I felt comfortable doing that, so I started new things again. Just keep doing what you love and you’ll improve as long as you take steps out of your comfort zone!

That was it, if you want to see an overview of all my self portraits so far, check you can go to my self portrait challenge page.

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